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Canned Energy
I am a summer convenience store junkie. All plastic, evenly lit with the hum of fluorescent lights, tightly packed little isles with just 3 or 4 of every product placed on the shelves, labels all neatly aligned. It is like stepping into a 7-11 Warhol painting.
My favorite convenience store is not one of these chain-brand lands of Neanderthals in orange aprons – noo. I prefer a ma & pa place attached to a local gas station. Yea it has slurpies, but it also has all the extras. A lunch counter where I can place an order for a cheeseburger hand made with perfect grilled onions and two walls of glass cases lined with colorful bottles & cans. Cold drink utopia! They have EVERYTHING! The drinks here are grouped by type. Milks (the door “moos” when opened) colas, teas, fruit drinks, water, energy. Wait what?
Yup, energy in a can. It’s the latest, hottest fad in icy cold beverages. Way beyond the granddaddy version of Gatorade, today’s energy drinks all come in graphically slick containers with an equally slick website.
Upfront here, I need to be honest. Energy-in-a-can to me is a stupid concept. Ahhh, if it was just that easy. Basically, all of these drinks are an “all natural” concoction of caffeine, sugars, electrolytes, vitamins, herbs, citrus and a lot of water in endless combinations. Energy they are not. They provide a quick artificial buzz followed by a hard crash and thank you I will mostly stick to java at my local ‘buck’s for that. But let’s have some fun here - after all, it is summer…

Monster Energy Drink
http://www.monsterenergy.com
With a flash animated intro to the website that touts, “Unleash the Beast” Monster is at the graphics high end of what drives a lot of the hype behind these energy drink sites. Monster does everything right. From a list of “Happenings” to “Parties” to “Monsters of Rock” Monster defiantly goes all out to get you involved with their product. And oh yea, the product behind all these slick graphics and promotions? A cool citrus blend of sugared caffeine and ginseng. Not bad. I’ve been known to grab a Monster instead of a java on hot days. Besides, just holding a Monster can is a level of coolness all in itself.

Bong Water
http://www.drinkbongwater.com
Promotionally and graphically at the opposite end of the scale is Bong Water. Designed to appeal to a hippie, stoner type crowd, Bong Water informs us, “Your buds will freak when they see you’re drinking Bong Water® Energized Soft Drink™! The underlying product is the same type of citrus and caffeine blend. Why Bong Water even comes in a psychedelic variety of fruity flavors with names such as “Purple Haze” and “Jamaican Sunrise.” The “Retail Locations” page here seems to list every convenience and gas station store outlet where the product may be found in the nine states where it is available. The jargon and info here (including a section on “420”) are fun in a stoner kinda way.

AMP Energy Drink
http://www.ampenergy.com
Brought to you by the long over-caffeinated folks at Mountain Dew, Amp Energy Drink is yet another offering in the citrus & ginseng meets caffeine category. Once again you will find high-end graphics and animation feeding and driving the visual experience. Turn off your pop-up blocker and crank the speakers for this one. Amp puts its energy and sponsorship dollars to good use. The promotional focus here is on helping emerging alternative music bands gain experience and a national reputation. Coming soon to a venue near you Amp sponsors live music events from coast to coast. The website contains a searchable link to the venues as well as music sample downloads and Amp Radio. Enjoy there is a lot to explore and hear on this site.

Cult Energy Activator
http://www.cult.nu
Currently available in Europe and New Zealand, Cult is just now beginning to forage its way into the American market. Backed by Smirnoff, Cult is still yet another blend of the popular citrus and caffeine “all natural” combo. The website is a slick graphic tour de force of shameless self promotion. The most interesting thing here (no, not the Cult Girls) is collection of facts and tidbits on the human body located under the “Info” section. Here I picked up a couple pieces of trivia to add to the collection cluttering my gray matter - including the fact the human nose can distinguish over 10,000 different smells. Humm, interesting.

Shark Energy Drink
http://www.sharkenergy.com
Another European offering here, Shark is available in several citrus / caffeine variations world wide. Turn up the speakers, turn off the pop-up blocker and have fun just playing on this well done slick flash animated site. Use their product selector to play Shark roulette. Enter the Shark “Fun Club” to play Shark Games or hangout in the Shark Chat Room. The site has that 1960’s meets the 21st century pop art feel that will leave you in a playful mood. Be sure and take a peek into Shark Cocktail Bar for a variety of ways to use Shark with your favorite alcoholic beverage. With cocktail names such as “Shark Attack and Gin & Fins,” I am sure that you will find something that is Sharkalicious baby!
Here is good energy to ya. Until next month –
LA. Judge / nodecaf
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