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The Peephole
By Damien Daville
from within what? my brain you ask..
a mindful morase of matter that talks
of the day to day recorded witness to murder and mayhem..
murder of what..and what we consume??
the chaos of endless fighting for that choice USDA..
an endless necessity to be alive and perhaps dead..
for one life of fleshly freshness that
ends with a decayed conglomerate of bone and skin.
and with all that from within that is missing
so with the shortness of matter that talks,
let us begin in ernest before all that is is naught..
a few necessities here..food and drink..
breathable air..and where is your pensil asks the teacher
makes for Johnny a succssful mindlink experience
with perhaps some other designated souls of like.
well the lighting is dim and the shadows abound
and the unseen and unknown seem nearby with quiet resolve
perhaps affecting the saftey of a questinable useful experience
for whatever timidity avails itself..
will there be a willing soul wanting to be perhaps
a part of this unpredictable time of indeterminable speech?..
i glance around the room from what seems the
safe confines of the light from my lamp
and imagine what predators await..
in the shadows that surround seeking the appropriate time.
will my time be at hand in something's ever evolving
food chain so that some other may die or live..
my time seems short for this matter of hand
for interruptions seem to be an annoying occurance
so before the hunter becomes the hunted..i shall begin
with uncertain time and limited matter
and uncertain results of these efforts.....
now that time and purpose are at hand
i look for a way out of darkness..
but noticeing that yet another surrounds
i shall endeaver to send my fluid ramblings
with uncertain resolve forth with..
but with sporatic motivation and certain
phisical and mental barriers i am acutely
aware of an undeterminable fate in my quest..
but with such now stated i believe our
discourse is more readily apparent to all..
now with peephole found i shall talk with you.
i live with my mass of acumulated thought
and jumbled leaning as do others..
but with one small difference from most
and that is just the awareness of it and it's
inability to povide a survival of life
that is befitting and without the mental
and physical pain that certainly accompanies
such a fleshly attractiveness to all predators..
but is there a defense from all that eat away??
i venture none here from the one who would be eaten
and the constant attention of mind to overcome them,
for it is that attention that we are subservient
and the awareness of those faults that all have
that prevent this life from being for very long..
so then a not so easy choice is made between
the life and death of this afficted time that some
are so aware of and must find closure to...
and now back to the pathology of my existence..
days and nights spent giving time to have time
but time for what??..staring at the walls or
the large box of daily propaganda that awaits
me in my livingroom with hypnotic beconing to
see and listen to those who would have me become
as them..the mindless mush of mediocrity that
is of no individual consequence or experience??..
or finding the becoming that i am which is me,
the predator for a likeminded individual of the
female sex who is self becoming that someone
who is unlike any other, self absorbed in finding
"to be" without the insecure frightened mentality
and inability to do without the "star power" of
someone else's identity and control over destiny..
but desiring the stimulating wordly company of
a soul who desires to share the thoughts and feelings
that come from the stimulating intellectual and
emotional intercourse of others around this world..
a soul who would hold the passion to touch the
presence of another with an equal embrace that
stirs the desire for life and nurtures the very
burning embers of the soul and seeks a presence
that is everything of what "now" can be and become,
the desire of this life instead of it's death..
but alass..i must experience the pain of the time
i must give just to have the time to live and
the purpose to seek you out....
but i must wade through the mindless morass
of those who would have no tolerance for me
for they are the masses of sameness scared
into clinging onto another's persona as
their's is void without the screams of another..
they believe in heaven's gate and hell's fury
for their's is a puniahment for not heeding sameness
and their constant bellowing over the video and audio
beamed at us that they control in everyone's abode
gives them hope and comfort in finding me..
they are at the mailbox and at your door
for fear of difference is a confusion and threat
to a mind already taken by another..
and then there is the watchfull eye behind the lens
hoping to record my "to be" so that they may find
my door and take me to sameness and their mediocrity
but i who must hide to survive and preserve behind
that peephole the very mundane but original me
will always be non other but that persona who
lived to reject the screams of those who would have
me accept and follow blindly blanked minds
who are the token mindless slaves of those who
would have all bow and heed commands to search
out all who must accept their brainness control
for the choice is heaven's gate and brainless life
or hell's fury and public hanging..
but i will walk by both and live this death
and still search for that me and you...
and now for my menu of dementia..
there is never enough time behind closed doors
to rid yourself of the questions of those who
would occupy your space and change that place..
for they surround you for hours of the day
with their petty desire to be in your face
with frivolous detail and surreal imaginations
that come from empty minds void of the detail
of imaginative thought and intelligent intercourse..
so faced with the ultimate movie who done it scene
i must face the accusers of the accused and listen
to the steady stream of pseudo provocadive steriotype
of those souls whose only part was just being there
until i am rid of these too many hours of the day..
then there is the soul who among others
insists that all are like planets of the solar system
revolving around this soul who always speaks
on every subject before anyone else can show thought
in a constant insecure effort at control over
who can control the airwaves contest because
i am madonna of the school yard and i have no space
for the mindful importance of anything but the
constant insecuities of my own importance and
the attention that all of this will soon bring me
while i plunder the beauty queen image that resides
in the mindlessness of useless empty space..
...:::Damien Daville:::...
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